Part 105: Episode LXXX-2: In Which Size Does Matter

Episode LXXX-2: In Which Size Does Matter



Verse 6: The Ancient Dragon
Music: Thundervalor – Battleground

What do you know? There's actually a third aerial map besides Notspain ruins and the eternally cloudy skies of the Land of Sands/Forests. Nice of them to put up one unique effort for the final aerial mission. Until it gets re-used in Zero's Prologue immediately alongside the only other single use ground mission map.



You sure? I didn't think Three could fly.
I can feel it, Zero! She's here! I know it!





Also here are a buncha no good, lazy, job stealing wyvern. However, it's getting toward the endgame and Mikhail seems to have since let his prejudices against the dirty, knock off, discount dragons go. For the time being. I mean, he's still going to wipe their filth from the skies but...



Several gargoyle cubes have taken flight to aide whatever the heck Three is doing up in the skies over the desert in this timeline. This is the first and only time we'll see them in an aerial mission. Much like their future incarnations, they just kind of float there for a bit before spitting out plasma blasts and buggering off.



Somehow gargoyle cubes become one of the most populous aerial mission enemies by the time of Drakengard 1 and 2. Three probably had some automated factory full of mind controlled dolls fueled with the eternal souls of duped soldiers and/or regional orphans pumping them out in a hollowed out tree somewhere in the Land of Forests. No doubt chugging 'em out non-stop for the next century. They've already established she created mountain tall cyclops creatures and left them in some manner of mountain sized broom closet for the Empire to dig up decades from now.



You mean other than the goddamn gargoyle cubes?
Gargoyle cubes? Oh dear...
What's wrong?
Those cubes require massive amounts of magical energy to operate. It's highly doubtful Lady Three could ever power them alone. There must be some kind of power source nearby.
Heh hehehe... Of course course there is. OF COURSE!



Once we deal with the fleet of wyvern and gargoyle cubes, we come upon a trio of larger scale wyvern pulling the old dick chain transport routine again. Only this time around, the cargo has been altered...



Huh. You can hitch giant chains to magical glyph platforms. Who knew? If Drakengard's world ever calmed down, I bet you could use that tech for a pretty sweet concert set-up. Also hiya, Three.



Three!



Redeem thyself, Ezrael!







No pre-fight crazy talk or compromised physical and/or mental states? Just cutting straight to the boss fight, huh? I can respect that. I suppose Three has done enough vague lunatic ramblings for three lifetimes already.



New Music: Corroscience – Ezrael (You should listen to this.)



Z-Zero? I-I think that's... I think that's an ancient dragon!



Hey... Heeeeeey! Wait a minute! I remember that tremendous dong dragon design! I've seen you before. Yeah... You might have lost the brood of a thousand winged testicles and replaced them with the world's largest cock rings.



You're the Wyrm: King of the Dragon Cock! This was the penultimate boss of Drakengard 1's Ending A path. Right after Inuart and the Black Dragon and right before the 50 Story Tall Manah. Red was kind of scared shitless of this thing initially too. And that one didn't even have razor sharp genital augmentation attached to its mighty member.



Meet Ezrael the Ancient Dragon. Ezrael is also known as Azrael or Azriel or a half dozen other spellings. It's the angel of death in Judiasm and Islam. You've almost definitely seen some tryhard menacing scrub or boss sharing the same name in at least several other video games or forms of media. Hell, I just had a lame sidequest with a character named that in Arkham Knight when I played it last week.





Ezrael's chief gimmick is that he can teleport about the field. Not very far or anything. In reality it's more of a minor inconvenience as far as positioning goes. The real trouble is the wyrm has invincibility frames for the duration of the teleportation animation and it just loves warping around.



Rrrgh! He's too fast for me! I can't aim right! ...Plus he's scary! His eyes are REALLY scary! I don't like this, Zero. I don't like this at all. Fighting an ancient dragon is bad...
Huh? What do you mean?
It's bad, Zero! I don't know why, I just know!
We dragons, we can't fight them...
Don't worry about it.
Urrgh...
It's gonna be fine.
B-But, Zero! He's...
It's gonna be fine.
But...
Have I ever lied to you?
W-Well... no. I mean, you're all stabby and angry and stuff, but... No, you never lied to me.
See? So trust me. I'm here with you. And it's going to be okay.
Um... okay.
Repeat it!
It's gonna be okay. ...It's gonna be okay!
Fucking A!





Ezrael only possessed two abilities initially. It can teleport. And it can teleport while being a sneaky asshole and shooting some flaming purple splooge out of the end of its dragon dong that blends in quite well to its purple warping animation.



Stand still and fight me, shit-hog!

That's right, shit-hog! If NIER 2 doesn't also have a boss get called a shit-hog, I will be very disappointed.







The ancient dragon actually will heed Zero's demands shortly after being called a shit-hog and perform its final attack of phase one. A huge, nearly screen filling charged laser shot. This can wreck Mikhail's health if it connects. But the generous invincible frames in our dumb baby dragon's roll while moving in the direction of the laser cannon sweep is more than enough to clear the beam with little difficulty. Two can play the i-frame dance, ya ding-dong.



Ezrael seems unable to teleport for a little bit following the beam attack, making it the best time to poor on what limited damage we can dish out with Mikhail before it goes back to the M. Bison routine.



We only need to take it down to 66% health to kick in the next phase of the dragon duel and trigger a mid-battle cutscene.







Zero and Mikhail's difficulty with Ezrael's teleportation is greatly magnified once they venture into the arena of cutscenes where the creature can zero-shift to areas other than directly in front of the rail shooter segment.



Goddammit! How can something that damn big be that damn fast!?





The far more dynamic dog fight goes on for a bit before we are interrupted by something rather unexpected.



There seems to be some manner of screaming in the distance. It sounds like it's getting closer... Listening, it also kind of sounds like ehh...?



Ehh...?!



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!





Decadus? How did you get here?



I had Octa give me a boost.
That's... kind of amazing.



Yes. Octa used his man club as a cartoon springboard to launch Decadus 5,000 feet into the air directly onto the back of a dragon in-flight. What of it? Dude wasn't going to get showed up by that stupid ancient dragon hanging loose for everyone. Drakengard! 3!





You appear to be in some trouble.
Yeah, I can't hit this twitchy son of a bitch.
Leave it to me. My angel holds the power to slow down his movements by a considerable degree.
Sounds great. Get on with it!



Err... But if I use such power, I'll go back to being a bird... Unnggh... Your lack of pity is intoxicating...





What, you wanna call it off? <smirk>
Hahaa... You'd deny me this pleasure?



No. I must do this. It is my... reward...





RAAAAARRRGH! Armaros, uphold!



And so Decadus calls forth Armaros the Buttrock Castle for another go at it...





...And he immediately joins Dito and Cent in that big Drakengard 3 birdhouse in the sky.





Tune in next time to find out what transpires when a giant penis with a dragon attached to it comes face-to-face with the world's biggest chastity belt.








Video: Branch D Verse 6 Highlight Reel (You should probably watch this.)



Ezrael Concept Art – Yep... That sure is a giant fucked-up dragon dick with some spiked cockrings stuck in it... Yep...